I know it's been awhile.... But I haven't really been up to much lately, so I don't have all that much to talk about. I do now though, so expect this to be a pretty long blog. I tried to write this last night but something was up with the site and it wasn't really allowing me to do anything. It took me about an hour and a half to get the latest pictures up. But it's working now and I'm using it as an excuse to relax while drinking my coffee and listening to Nahko and Medicine for the People before we have to actually do stuff. Maria has to take her dog to the vet to get her stitches taken out, give her and Madonna a bath, and then we're going shopping because I need new sandals. I also want to get cards for this new game that I'm kind of obsessed with, and then I'd also like to find some coqui stickers to put on my car when I get home.
Speaking of home, I only have 26 more days until I am boarding a plan to go home. That's so weird for me to think about. Well, there's a lot of things that are weird for me to think about. The other day we were at Wal-Mart and I was telling Maria about how weird it is to look back and think about where I was when I first got here verses where I am now. Like now, everything feels normal and not as exciting as it was when I first got here. Puerto Rico has just come to feel like my home. I still miss my friends and family and everything like crazy, but this just feels normal now. When I first got here, I remember being so lost and not being able to understand anything and now (for the most part) it's no big deal. Now I know how to get around a grocery store, ask for help when I need it, respond to people when they talk to me, and I have friends. I think one of the reasons that it feels like normal is because this summer is kind of turning out how every other summer goes: I want to hang out with people but everyone is usually busy. The only difference is that I'm not working, I don't have a car, I'm not living on campus, and I'm doing more than I usually do. I'm still hanging out with the same amount of people though. I've been trying to get more people to hang out though since I'm only here for a few more weeks and I don't know when I'll be able to see them next-- if ever. But especially now that it's starting to get so close, I've been thinking a lot about how things were when I first got here compared to now. I may not feel like it most of the time but I'm a lot more confident in myself and my Spanish. At the moment I'm just frustrated with my lack of speaking. I've gone back to speaking mostly in English with Maria and so I just feel like my speaking is now lacking behind the rest of everything. But I guess that's still part of the learning process. At some point in my life I really do need to force myself to do this. I do think that I could survive in a completely Spanish-speaking country now. I'm not sure what I'm going to do, but I have faith that the universe will bring me to where I need to go. |
And now speaking of my confidence, I'm going to a workshop next weekend that Maria says will really help me with that. I was supposed to go last month but I wasn't confident enough with my Spanish at that point to spend three days speaking nothing but Spanish. Although this time Maria is also going to be there so I won't feel so overwhelmed. Last month I was too scared to go, but this month I'm actually really excited. Maria says that when she went the first time it really helped her to be a more confident person and helped her in a lot of personal ways, and she thinks that it can do the same for me. I'm willing to try it. I started really working on bettering myself about 2 years ago and I think I've gotten to the point where I need another little kick start. I've had a couple since I first really started working on myself but I'll try anything that might help. I'm definitely proud of the person I'm becoming and the steps that I have made this far. I no longer let the opinions of others define me and I'm a lot more confident in the person that I am. I just have a few things that I still need to work on and if Maria's right, I think this workshop will really help.
But now to talk about the excitement that was yesterday. I went to another Wiccan ceremony in order to try and help bring some rain to Puerto Rico. There has been a horrible drought since December or January. It hasn't been raining and rivers are starting to dry up. I remember how green and lush everything was when I first got here, and now things are dry and dying. It's really sad to see. A lot of people are going without water, or only have a little water to use, because there isn't enough for everyone on the island. So Maria and I were invited to participate in the ceremony (which I will try to put up pictures later if I can find them on anyone's Facebook). When we first got there it was kind of sprinkling on and off as we set everything up. The set-up was about 7 or 8 jugs of water in a circle around some tapestries as well as cauldrons with sulfur at the different directions. They were also handing out incense to everyone that we were going to light during the ceremony. We had just started cleansing everyone when something amazing happened. They had just gotten done cleansing the first person when I looked over to my right to see a giant, white cloud approaching us from down the river. I looked over at Maria to tell her to look and ask if she knew what it was. It took me about a minute before I figured out that it was a whole lot of rain. At about that time, it just started down pouring on us. Everyone frantically ran to put away the cauldrons so that they wouldn't get too wet while the rest of us started dancing and yelling and laughing. It was like something out of a movie! It hadn't really rained in Puerto Rico for so long and here we are gathering to try and bring rain. It down poured on us for about 20 minutes or so before it let up to let us finish with our ceremony. It continued to rain a little on and off as were were going about the ceremony but decided to down pour on us again right as we were finishing up. I really hope this is a sign that Puerto Rico will be getting out of its drought soon! I'd also like to think that the rain was brought about by so many witches gathering with the intention to bring rain because that makes such a great story! I am so thankful that I was able to meet these witches and become involved with their coven because it has definitely proved to me that this is what I was meant to do. And they are all such warm and loving people: they really treat me like family and as if I have been involved in their coven for more than just a couple ceremonies. I'm actually invited to another one on the 26th. I hope that I can find a coven back in Wisconsin once I return. I'm fine practicing as a solitary witch, but I do really enjoy the energy and love that a coven brings. I'm going to be so sad when I have to leave them, but I know that I will always have a Wiccan family in Puerto Rico that I can ask questions and learn from.
But one final thing that I would like to share about the ceremony was that I got to dance with my hoop again! This time I danced for Boinayel, the Taino god of the rain. It was interesting, because usually I have a very distinct flow, but I have noticed that every time that I dance for the gods my flow is different depending on the god/goddess that I am dancing for. Last time, my flow was a but more from the element of air as I was dancing to the sun god. This time, my flow was very water-like. I'd like to think that it's because that good comes into me and expresses themself through me. I did have an issue with trying not to fall because the ground was uneven and my sandals were wet and breaking, but I was still able to find flow. And that's something very important to me because I haven't really been able to hoop or find my flow since it started getting really hot here. So that's definitely one thing that I really can't wait for back home. But I guess we'll see what happens at my next, and probably last, Wiccan ceremony here in Puerto Rico. Of course I will be blogging about it! And like I said: I hope to find and put up pictures from this ceremony. Maybe they'll even have something of me hula hooping!
But one final thing that I would like to share about the ceremony was that I got to dance with my hoop again! This time I danced for Boinayel, the Taino god of the rain. It was interesting, because usually I have a very distinct flow, but I have noticed that every time that I dance for the gods my flow is different depending on the god/goddess that I am dancing for. Last time, my flow was a but more from the element of air as I was dancing to the sun god. This time, my flow was very water-like. I'd like to think that it's because that good comes into me and expresses themself through me. I did have an issue with trying not to fall because the ground was uneven and my sandals were wet and breaking, but I was still able to find flow. And that's something very important to me because I haven't really been able to hoop or find my flow since it started getting really hot here. So that's definitely one thing that I really can't wait for back home. But I guess we'll see what happens at my next, and probably last, Wiccan ceremony here in Puerto Rico. Of course I will be blogging about it! And like I said: I hope to find and put up pictures from this ceremony. Maybe they'll even have something of me hula hooping!
Well I think that it is time for me to finish getting ready and stop being lazy. I finished my coffee about an hour ago. I will try to write more!
XOXO Ericka
XOXO Ericka